God is just soooo cool

So.. i've been going through a really tough time lately but have been seeking God in all of it. Now because of some certain circumstances I have plenty of time to just seek him and work on me. The things that i have been praying for opportunities to do have fallen in my lap, and i am so thankful. I have just been able to hear God a little more clearly in my crying out to him. and it is awesome!

One thing he keeps telling me is that I asked him and begged him to make me more like Jesus and when I start asking why these things have happened to me and what have i done to deserve this he calmly says to me.. "you asked to be like Jesus.. i know its hard but you asked to be like my son, and i want that so badly for you so I'm giving it to you. Just hang in there sweet girl... the day will come when you will look back on this struggle in your life and see all the fruits of your tears."Its hard sometimes to see the end.. but i know its there...

This weekend I did alot of driving and praying and just felt like God wanted me to go to The Ramp for their sunday night service but things just didn't work out that way, I had already been to Huntsville and back on saturday and Hamilton is a long drive in the woods alone.

This morning i found out why he wanted me to go. He wanted me to hear this sermon by Casey Doss. I'm sure that there may have been some other blessings in store if i could have made it there but God still has a way of getting us the words we need even when we think they are just out of reach.

Listen to the sermon and be encouraged to stick it out and seek God... No matter how good or bad things look right now.

Can you survive resistance? by Casey Doss

Love you all!

Chels

Men of God and Some struggling princesses of the father

So... God has just been blessing my socks off this week in every possible way he can.

HE is sooo good to me... to everyone really... but especially to me...

My thursday nights are busy and full of God.

Tonight was On the Horizon's (Our church's campus ministry) first meeting on camps... it was great..God was there. Anyways.. when we started it was just me and the guys and about 45 seconds into worship i was just struck by this wonderful sound. it was the sound of 6 men's voices filling the room ... all singing in worship to our God... and they had become one voice, strong and stirring. It is something that i rarely get to experience and it was beautiful tonight. I felt like God was smiling and saying "I love those guys..." we worshiped about an hour and God moved in our midst... it was good.

Then i left before the teaching to get to girls growth group

I love this group. It was our first meeting but its working out perfectly. We are reading a book entitled "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore. and its exactly what every girl needs to read.

As we were meeting I was listening to all of the insecurities we each face and just felt so much love and compassion for each of these girls. It brought to mind what we are learning about in my gender issues class and how books and movies and stories we hear/read/watch influence how we view ourselves. -This stuff is true guys... we don't even realize it but all of the things these girls named in Growth group are the things my group in class listed as characteristics in disney movies or fairy tales....

I couldn't believe it... All of these Beautiful beloved Princesses were struggling with the failure of not living up to the fairy tale and our demented version of perfection.

And God has arranged for all of this to coincide on this one day.... hmmm, sounds kind of like him. I don't know what to do about it yet but i just needed to talk about it... and would love to talk about it more if anyone wants to give me a call.

love you guys!!!

-chels

i'll probably be writing about Growth group alot so just brace yourself!

Don't pray that prayer... unless you want it

so ... i know its been a while but I"M BACK!!

So some of you have seen my facebook status about this same topic and i just wanted to expand and share a piece of my life with you guys.

I have been listening to several sermons via podcast from The RAMP , a ministry of Karen Wheaton Ministries in Hamilton, AL. Damon Thompson preaches there on most sunday nights.

He has been preaching a series on the grace to live simply... I highly recommend these podcasts to anyone who is truly seeking God.

In this sermon series he touches on a subject that he has talked about alot in the past. He says that no new believer should be allowed to ask God to make them like his son for at least 10 years . they do not know what they are asking for.

 They know they see the end product and want to be that... but don't realize what is included in that process. When they begin to feel the cutting and removal of their selfish human nature and replacing it with christ it hurts. It hurts deep. When you come to a place where the only one you can count on is him, even excluding yourself, it tears you up. When you feel out of place everywhere but on your knees it is more humbling that anything in the world. When people get to this place they ask God "Why? Why me? Why now? Why does this have to happen?" and they often are too busy praying why and complaining about their situation to hear him whisper "because you asked for it, my beloved, you wanted to be like my son"

This is where people tend to stop seeking this goal, they think they can't handle it, and they can't, no one can, no one survives this and comes out the same person. They come out looking, smelling, and glowing like Christ.

I know this. I know those pains too well. I am right there in the middle of it.

When I Got back to starkville I was at a place with him where i didn't feel comfortable anywhere but on my face crying out to Him. I was holding tears back for a solid week and one wednesday night at Carla and Tim's I just couldn't hold it anymore. God was moving in me. I know that my pain was great and i know he knew that. I know that he said "you can stop this at any time... i will still love you but you can stop here. OR you can keep going and I will use you in a way you will Never be able to imagine... " And at that point... I knew I wanted to be that great woman that he has a Big plan for in the future... if only i could get there. So i gave it up again... and the peace that filled me the next two or so days was overwhelming. and amazing... now everytime something seems to begin to hurt in the pruning process i go back to these truths.... I asked for this, God will complete this good work in me, and I will come out looking like Christ at the end of it.

What could be better??

-Chels!!!

coming home early

I have decided that I see myself as a failure.

I don't want to and i know its neither healthy nor true... but regardless I still view myself in that way.

To let the ones of you who don't know me very well know... I am NOT a quitter. I am a finisher... A perfectionist when it comes to work ethic and finishing things.

I will suffer pain and do major damage to my body and finish something rather than not i finishing.

I can work for anyone.. even awful bosses (not that i've every really had one) because i refuse to quit.

I will put all that I can into a task to finish it up, leaving me empty and exhausted when its over.

I have only quit 4 things in my life... well now make that 5.

1.Softball in 5th grade because of a broken ankle.

2. Band after the 11th grade after some major problems with my back.

3. Tennis tryouts senior year because My body couldn't run the required mile everyday.

4. A job last year because my schedule didn't allow me to do what the job required.

and 5. Summer missions this summer.

and each time i felt/feel like a failure... like I was/am letting people down because I couldn't live up to my own standards.... and in my head i know that that isn't true because people have said over and over again that it wasn't but... I still feel it and the weight of it very heavily on my shoulders

Now... what do i do with this revelation?? I haven't a clue... but at least i can pin point a feeling or two in this crazy confusing time... healing comes slowly

so that is a start on my recovery/self-discovery from the summer

and i can't sleep

so... once again i am awake too late on a night when i should have been asleep a long time ago...

as i tossed and turned in my little twin bed I had so many things on my mind... trying to come up with solutions to problems, thinking about what the future holds, figuring out how to get over something that i really shouldn't be upset about and realizing that coming home early from Alaska this summer has taken a great deal out of me (emotionally and mentally)....

I have started 4 posts in the last week but i got to about the 4th sentence and had to stop because my mind is doing this thing all the time even in prayer and conversations with friends... this thing where there is so much going on and i know and feel so deeply that something is wrong but when i start trying to articulate it into words that i can't seem to formulate what needs to be said or what i want to say....

Its a very frustrating place to be in...

And ... I can't figure out how to get out of this hole... its like a counter that is just high enough that you can't get up on it by yourself... you've tried and you've tried and ... it even looks like you can do it but its just 1 inch too high and you cant seem to find any chairs or stools to help you out in your quest to get up on that counter...

thats how i feel...

I'm ready to get on the counter and out of this hole...

I need to locate the tools...

mommyhood

Don't worry guys... i am not with child.

I was looking through facebook today at all my classmates from highschool thinking about how 5 years ago we were getting our senior portraits taken and buying that perfect first day of Senior year outfit. How it seems like yesterday and so far away at the same time!

I noticed how many of my classmates have babies now and how amazing it is to see their little smiling faces and how great a job my friends are doing as parents!

I began to think to myself about the kind of mom I would be...

I think i would be a great mom...

my kids will know what "Cool It" means....

I hope my kids will look like this most days....

I think i will make their baby food...

I will NOT FEED THEM CHEETOS AND HOTDOGS...

I think i will let them get dirty alot...

I will teach them to look people in the eye...

I think i will allow them to express themselves through dancing and art(maybe even on the walls)...

I will let them wear the superman costume for 3 weeks...

They will always have shoes on in walmart...

I will teach them to act appropriately in public settings...

I think we will visit the library alot...

I will let them help cook often...

I know i am not a mommy yet and am quite a way from being there but this is one of those fun things to think about....

I mean it about the Cheetos and Hotdogs.... they won't be banned but we're not having them everyday!

love y'all,

Chelsea Lou

the photo above was taken by Sarah Hinton Photography, Bay Springs, MS

http://sarahhintonphotography.blogspot.com/

restroom evangelism

So on my way home from a baby sitting job last night i stopped at a very well lit 24 hour gas station to fill up and get a red bull for the drive back, and when i got to the restroom (because everyone knows you should always try!) i met a lady. She was missing a few teeth and had dirty white tennis shoes on... i met her because she hadn't closed the door to her stall and i had to pass her to get to mine.

She then began to tell me about herself. She'd been in prison for a while and didn't even realize she forgot to shut the door until i said excuse me. She was tile layer... did walls, floors, and bathtubs, and she was amazing at what she did. She was the only woman on a work team of about 8 or so that was traveling from west texas to pensacola, FL (where she was from)and she needed a beer because she had "had enough of their sh*t". I talked back and forth with her for a while (mostly listening) thinking, "What do i say to this woman who has told me her whole life story while we are in this dirty bathroom?" So i did as a good southern lady would do and commented on her skills as something worth alot and how i knew road trips are rough especially if your the only female.

After I washed my hands and dried them and told her i had to get back on the road... She then did something that i was shocked by... She apologized for talking to me. I was taken aback but told her not to worry, she wasn't bothering me and i hoped the night got better for her.

As I got back into my nice freshly detailed Hyundai and drove off, I realized how much she needed love and how much she needed God and how ill prepared i was to give either of those to her in the 5 minutes we were together. I realized that those 5 minutes were all that i had and i will never have another chance to see her again... to give her the attention and love that she so desired.

I began to pray for her and after a few minutes God showed me a couple of other instances where i was in the right place at the right time.... or rather HE put me in the right place at the right time to hear people's stories... In wal-mart in anchorage or sitting on the sidewalk in New Orleans. I guess i have a face that screams "tell me your life story!!"... and its an AMAZING gift.

He then showed me that although I can get the stories easily... more like they fall in my lap... that when i get them i don't know what to do with them, I've trained myself so well in long term relationships that this amazing 5 minute opportunity didn't have a climax... it just stopped.

So now... 24 hours later i am asking myself... Why am I not prepared and now, how do i prepare myself? How do i show these people love in a way they have never felt before when i will never see them again?

This will be a long process and I've got a lot of learning to do ... but i can't wait to see the end result!

-Chelsea Lou!!

Perplexed Am I !

So... after a year of pretty much taking a break from too much artsy stuff I am beginning to realize that I am really good at this stuff and... well... it could sell... i just have to make it.

This brings me to a perplexing place. I was planning on finding an afterschool job and working on my art and crafty things in order to get enough to sell at shows or just from home or simply working on the art. There are pros and cons to both which makes it a hard decision to make.

so... i am going to see what you guys think...

here are some facts about work:

>i will only be able to work 3 hours a day at an on campus job (15 hrs a week)

>probably will be getting paid minimum wage

>it will give me a extremely full schedule (9am-5pm) everyday which makes for a tired girl with lots of extracurricular activities and little time to work on much else than school work

>i have a job on game weeks but like i said... it won't be for very many hours

>I don't have a job lined up at this time... i have made some calls but no response yet

facts about the art side:

>i love it

>If i don't work then i'll have at least 3 hours a day to work on getting together a large stash for resale

>It takes money to buy supplies

>i don't have much room in which to do art work.

>i really enjoy it and feel calmer and at home when I can do it

>I have 1 contracted work (thanks to Chelle) already

>I have a boutique owner in Alaska and slidell that is interested in selling my work for a small commission

hmmm... looks like the pros and cons are pretty convincing to my free spirit but not to my responsible and planning for the future side!

Soooo... Let me hear what you guys think...

p.s. Everyone that comments (on either side) i will make something for you... like i said... i really like doing this stuff

sweet summertime

so on this night in july when i can't sleep at all (due to the steroids prescribed for my back) i have been thinking ...

thinking about summer...

thinking about how as kids we love summer... it meant a break from the ordinary... no school no homework no drama with classmates... Summer meant change and as kids any idea of change from the ordinary excites us...

now i am looking at what will be probably my last summer break... i have a little over a month left and i'm ready to get back to the ordinary... but i am slowly realizing that the ordinary is not the same as it was when i left my haven at 401b ... the change that awaits me at "ordinary" is quite big... probably the biggest change that i have ever experienced at once... thats a big deal...

now don't get me wrong i love the idea of summer time... lazy days in the sun .. but some of the biggest changes in my life have happened over summer break... making it hard to say that i actually love summer...

i look forward to the days when change comes slowly... when I don't have to stop my life in one place and come back in 3 months to find everything is different and only a few things remain constant

i'm not sure what i am getting at but there it is...

from the mind of chelsea lou

i know there is a plan... but what is it?

So Coming home early from Alaska early was a tough decision to make but after I gave it to God he gave me such perfect peace about it. Now after 3 days of complete rest and very little if any relief I'm getting restless... I want to do something... I want to see what this plan is that God has for me here because its beginning to get to me. Several other things have happened that keep adding stress and making it harder to just rest and get well.

I know he has a plan and I know that I have nothing without him. I just can't see it yet.... and i want to so badly... i want to be in his will so badly .... but right now... i can't clearly see what that is right now.

maybe it is to rest

maybe he is teaching me to totally an completely rely on him

there are so many maybes right now