Thursday, December 13, 2012

I have a skewed self veiw

I am so tired of being fat. 
And... I am not just eating whatever I want and sitting on my bum all the time either. I am eating pretty healthy small meals and trying to stay under my calorie count, but nothing seems to really work without making me bitter towards it or nauseous just thinking about it (eggs...ugh). 

You see, I have PCOS which is pretty much a hormone disorder that has all kinds of symptoms that are oh so frustrating to the women who have it. I got pretty lucky on some of the symptoms like acne and skin tags that have never been a problem for me. But I do have several of the other symptoms like cysts on my ovaries, super fast hair growth everywhere, insulin resistance and major difficulty losing weight. 

That last one is the most difficult one to live with day in and day out. Mostly because the other symptoms would become less evident if I could lose weight. 
Ugh.. Its just a Vicious cycle where there isn't much hope.

I also have a gluten sensitivity that I'm still trying to figure out and work my way around... but thats another story. 

back to the main topic...

I have a skewed self view... but its not in the typical way. 
Many girls/women OVERESTIMATE their body size, meaning what they see in the mirror is bigger in their minds than in reality, but I'm the opposite. 

I think i'm smaller and thinner than I really am. That girl in the mirror doesn't look half bad and she's not that big, and she's pretty cute. I realized this what not actually the case after seeing some photos from a friend's birthday party... I looked HUGE! I didn't even recognize my body in the photo at first... and I was appalled that that is what I actually looked like. 

This may be a hinderance in my weight loss journey because I feel like I don't have that much to lose when I look in the mirror. That is not the case. I have 100 lbs to get off this body to be in good healthy condition. Some girls would love to have this problem, feeling smaller than they are, but its working against me I think. 

A skewed view is a skewed view no matter which way it is skewed. 

So, I'm gonna work on getting a realistic view of my body and my goals so that I can figure this thing out and get / on my way to a smaller less focused-on-weight me. 

Just needed to share!
Until Next Time
Chels

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

NIGHT GOWN PAR-TAE!!

I feel like a Woo girl everytime I say it! I Love Nightgown party!

Some of you already know about it but here is a little history about our most anticipated party of the whole year!

When we first moved to the amazing town of Starkville, MS 4 of us girls lived in an apartment all together. And we went big that year on the decorating front... all fully expecting to be living together for at least one more year. (This did not happen, all 3 of my roomates were engaged by easter and 2 of them married by the start of the next school year... oh how differently that turned out! haha) One of our roomates really really REALLY loves to wear nightgowns and we found super cute ones at Wally World and bought them, then we decided that it would be fun to wear wear our nightgowns the night we exchanged gifts.( I think that year we all bought everyone a gift... oh the carefree spending of those college days!) So we did and that was the first Nightgown party!


Now every year it has evolved a little more, rotating homes of its participants. Allowing for the coming and going of growing families and picking up a few along the way. Some sort of dirty santa happens, along with food and some sort of game and lots of catching up. 

This year it was my turn. It was the 5th annual nightgown party so I knew I had to do it big! and I did! 

Since I live in a dorm room I decided I'd need to rent a house somewhere, I looked at several in Starkville but then We decided it would be fun to take it on the road somewhere. Our options were Birmingham or the Beach and through some discussion and reasoning, we determined Birmingham would be our location! I went to VRBO.com and looked for our party house and I found it! This lovely little house in Avondale was just perfect! We had a hiccup with the cleaning when we got there but through it we got to meet a sweet little lady named Celia who came and fixed us up right away!  It was such a lovely house and perfect for our needs and I would recommend it to anyone needing a get-a-way thats not too far from home! Plus the Owner is a MSU Alum as well! Go Bulldawgs!

link to rent this home: http://www.vrbo.com/360863 

Then sweet K helped me set up using the decorations I've been collecting over the past year and some of the containers there at the house. She did such a great job!


 I made little signs for the food, punches and where to put the presents out of some festive invitations I got super cheap from a closing stationary store and $1 clear photo stands from wal mart. This became very helpful in people deciding which punch to try first and putting the food they brought in the right place so I wouldn't have to go behind and move things.


For a little party favor/ happy I put an ornament (made by the wonderful Jennie Bird), a jar of my Easy As Pie Personal Hot Cocoa and one of my favorite Lindor truffles on each girl's bed.

Then the other ladies arrived around 7:30 that night and we got to partying! 

We went shopping the next day and stopped by to see the city from Vulcan Park on our way back to get ready for dinner.  I'm sure most of K's photos looked like this because we aren't very good photography subjects. 


Dance party with Vulcan!


We had a great time and I think that we are going to have to make this weekend get-a-way part of the Nightgown party tradition. 

We got all gussied up to go out for dinner at 5 Bar on saturday night... very yummy food and a good time, just go before 8 pm or you'll be there all night!
I Hope you enjoy the photos and a big thank you goes out to K for bringing along her camera for the weekend... I was way to focused on having fun to take photos. :) Also we didn't even get a single photo with us in nightgowns... thats ok.. we know we all wore them. I can't wait until NEXT YEAR!! 

Until Next Time!
Chelsea-Lou

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Some secrets about me...

So I have been thinking lately about some of my pet peeves and how kind of ridiculous they are, but... they are still mine and I wanted to share them with you.

1. The sound of any kind of fluid sloshing against itself. 
Bath water, dish water, pool water and chewing are the big 4. If I'm sitting in a room with you and there isn't any other sound going on and I turn on music or leave the room rapidly, its probably because I'm about to snap if I hear one more slosh. Just ask my parents.. I really do snap and like tense up if its not rectified quickly enough. Its really weird as much as I love being in the ocean or a lake on a boat but there is usually talking or motors running that cuts the sound of the slosh. Therefore, I rarely take a bath, cook or wash dishes without the TV or my iPod playing in the background... and now you know why :) 

2. Getting awakened from my sleep or a nap before my alarm goes off. 
I always set an alarm, even if I don't have to get up in the mornings I set an alarm for some point in the morning so I'll be in a good mood if someone happens to wake me before I get up myself. This has happened alot lately and its usually within minutes of my alarm going off. I don't know why it drive me crazy or why those last few minutes are so important but they are.. Just ask KB who woke me up  the day after Thanksgiving from a nap just 20 second before my alarm went off.... I could have slapped her had I known she wouldn't have retaliated 20 fold. (sisters.. gotta love them) I'm usually a pleasant person but if you wake me up before my little harp sounds do be prepared for a grumpy pumpkin. 

3. Not having my nail painted. 
This is a new one and I'm trying to break it but it just seems to be getting worse. I used to never paint my fingernails except for special events and weddings, but this summer I went with my sister to get a manicure with the shellac polish that stays for like 2 weeks and I got used to it. I took it off when I started coming off in places and then something new happened. I started feeling self conscious about my nails, even though they were just a soft pink when painted I noticed a huge difference so I decided I needed to just keep them up myself. A couple of weeks ago I went to get the shellac done again before TG week and the nail tech convinced me to go more bold with OPI's Cajun Shrimp which I usually use on my tootsies. So I did and now I can't go back to the clear polish on my nails... its crazy... I don't hate it but it does take a lot of time to do myself or a lot of $$ for someone else to do it. 

So there are some secrets about me that I just felt like sharing with the world today!
Thanks for reading!
Chelsea-Lou

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

being heathly in a dorm is hard

Hello there friends!

Its been one crazy whirlwind of a weekend. I was on duty this weekend which means from 7 am friday to 7 am tuesday, i have to be on campus or with in a few miles of campus available to come back at any point at the drop of a hat.. thats kind of stressful for me since I'm such a free spirit and all. Also it was winter formal weekend so we were open and dealing with students 2 hours past our regular curfew time on weekend... I was quite tired and grumpy yesterday morning. But I took a nap at lunch time and felt much better. 


I've been trying to keep under my calorie count this week and have only succeeded one day out of the last eight. I've only exceeded the calorie limit by about 115-200 calories a day, but just imagine my progress if I could just cut those 1000 calories a week out. 

I've been eating alot of frozen meals and visalus shakes. In part it has to do with the fact that I have lost my ID so I can't get into the cafeteria to eat something fresh, the other is I'm still stuck in lazy mode and its a lot of work to go to the kitchen 5 floors away and take all your ingredients and cooking tools and everything with you and bring it all back with a cooked meal without dropping anything. I see why the Freshman 15 is true. I've got to find the energy/ put out the effort to got to that kitchen so far away and cook healthy meals for myself. 

One thing that I've been struggling with, particularly since trying to get back on track after being lazy those weeks around thanksgiving break, is that I can't stop thinking about food or eating. Not sure what this is about. Probably just and old habit dying hard as the previous weeks were pretty much just instant gratification. Because I'm in this crazy almost binge like mode now its hard for me to keep from eating any food that is in my dorm room so that gallon of milk that should have lasted me 2 weeks of shakes only lasted from friday to monday, and all those frozen meals that should have lasted me a week as well  only lasted the weekend. Mind you I haven't been just going crazy but I wake up in the morning and don't stop thinking about food or what I'm going to eat until I go to bed, which lately has been anywhere from 15-17 hours of thinking I'm hungry. 

Pray for me this week as I work on my mind to correct this disordered thinking so I can get back on my road to getting thin. I've even put up a couple of more encouragement signs around. One is on the background of my phone and another in my car so when I'm traveling I can see it and be motivated to choose my food wisely!

I just realized I didn't do a count down for you guys last week so I'll try to do the math right now :) 


Weight Loss this week: 2.2 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 6.2 lbs
Total Loss To-Go: 101.8 lbs
Days without soda: 49 of 365

Thanks for coming by!
This weekend is Nightgown party! Stay tuned for photos!! 
I love Nightgown Party!!

-Chels

Monday, November 26, 2012

I've been hiding

So for the past couple of weeks I haven't been posting much... There are a few reasons.. its been SUPER busy around here with birthday parties and holiday prep as well as getting ready for that craft show a couple of weeks ago. 
But mostly I've been hiding from you.
I've been hiding because I've been lazy.
Lazy about my food choices. Eating what is the easiest, fastest and whats going to be the most "fulfilling" rather than the most filling or heathiest.
I dont have anything really else to say except I confess to it and I am already working to get back on track. I even took off my nail polish which was a reward for getting down 10 lbs, and my nails look so awful and sad bare again. Its probably been more of a motivation than anything today.
I even downloaded myfitnesspal on my phone so I can keep track of what is going in my mouth and even make those quick picks easier and healthier because I can look up a restaurant and decide what I can afford to eat that meal.
I'll let you know how it goes... and I'll try to keep from hiding ;)
-Chels   
 

Monday, November 5, 2012

Weigh In.... Whatever week this is!



Sorry I didn't post last week. 
We had  one crazy weekend with a big surprise party for my dear friend Sierra. I'll post photos when I get them from our photographer. ( I feel like a real deal party planner by having an official party photographer) I was also on the front end of being sick so I was in a really sad mood and Y'all didn't need any of that.

But turns out I had a pretty good week, I got a new phone and My car battery died Wednesday forcing me to stay here on campus and get some much needed rest and I'm in much better spirits now after realizing that the mood of despair was from the exhaustion and being sick.

 Also, I lost another 2 lbs bringing the total to 10lbs!!! Which means i get to go get that mani/pedi whenever I want... the only thing is now I've got to find the $$ in my budget for that since I had to buy that new phone. 

Here are the stats for this week!

Weight Loss this week: 2 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 10 lbs!!
Total Loss To-Go: 98 lbs
Days without soda: 21 of 365

Until Next Time!
Chelsea-Lou

Monday, October 22, 2012

Weigh In Week 6

Alright guys!! I'm officially only 100lbs from my goal weight! 
For some reason my brain thinks that this number is much more defeat-able than the 108lbs I started at. And I feel encouraged because I'm on a roll.

One weird thing that has happened this week is that I've woken up the last 4 days feeling fat. Its not that my clothes are tight or anything like that, I just feel HUGE!! and then I get on the scale and see it down a point or two from yesterday and I spend all day convincing myself I really am looking better even though I feel blah today. 

Also ... I got off my exercise wagon after day 1 last week, but I got back on yesterday so maybe I'll stick with it this time. I took a nice long walk around campus yesterday before/after dinner... I'm trying to decide what I will do today... maybe I'll try out the gym here this afternoon/tonight... who knows!? (*God Does*) 

Here are the stats:


Weight Loss this week: 1.4 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 8 lbs
Total Loss To-Go: 100 lbs!
Days without soda: 7 of 365
Days with Exercise: 1 of 50

Thanks for reading! 
Have a good Monday!
Chelsea-Lou!  

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

I'm getting started!

So now that I've had my 30 before 30 list complete and have been letting it settle for a week I've decided its time to get started on it (with some urging from the baking bride). 

The first thing I started on was filling out my application for Mfuge this summer (#20). I've got all of it filled out except my references.

Another thing I started was my year with no soda (#25). I decided the sooner I start it the sooner I can finish. So I am on Day 3 now and I've only really wanted a coke once. One thing that never occurred to me when planning on doing this is the $$ that I will save. It hit me as I handed over a $5 bill at Popeye's yesterday and got plenty of change back, when if I were to have gotten the combo It would have been over $6. Score! I'm thinking about putting all the $$ I'll save into a Jar and just see how much it saves me over the course of this next year! (and maybe it will help fund one of my other goals!)

One thing I started this morning was my 1st day working on (#26) exercising every day for 50 days. I did some simple arm flab exercises while watching the view! 


Heres the Countdown:
Days without soda: 3 of 365
Days with Exercise: 1 of 50

Until Next Time!
Chelsea-Lou!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Why do we crave the stuff that is killing us?

This question has just bogged down my mind this weekend. You see I have a gluten sensitivity and I had a kidney infection this past week. As I walked around the grocery store all I wanted to buy was foods full of wheat products and man I could have killed for a Coke.

For me, having a couple of cokes in the span of 2 days after a period of not having any for a while always triggers a kidney infection, but still as I was laying there on the couch with my lower back throbbing, I wanted so badly to go out and get a coke. It literally put me in that situation and I still craved it. I feel like I should be Angry at it and Hate it for hurting me... but I don't.

This same thing happens with anything with gluten in it, if there are 3 or four days of eating breads or pastas, my insides just start hurting, and I know why and I know who to blame, but still I am drawn to those foods when I'm feeling bad.

I'm sure its all psychological, those foods are my "comfort foods" so they make my brain happy when I partake in them. They help relieve my mental stress and help me to "relax". (Sounds like an alcoholic talking about their evening drink doesn't it?)

I've got to figure out a way to see these foods for what they are, harmful dangerous weapons that seek to destroy my body, and start a vicious cycle of needing comfort, getting it from these foods, feeling bad, and needing comfort again. I'm not saying that wheat and cokes are harmful and dangerous for everyone. But for me they are. and I need to understand that to live the healthiest life possible. The hard part now is acting on this knowledge because now I am responsible for it. 

Any Ideas on how to do that?
I would greatly appreciate any ideas at this point because simply cuting them out of my life is not going to work. 

There you have it. My thought for the week!
Chelsea-Lou!    

Weigh-In Week 5

Good Morning My Dear Friends!

Its been one blur of a week, I feel like I was just posting weigh in results from last week!

Well this week I didn't lose any weight but I didn't gain any either. I was sick the last half of the week so I ate comfort foods with bread and crust and noodles, but one amazing thing occurred to me as I look back on my weekend of comfort foods. Although I ate some unhealthy foods I didn't eat nearly as much of them as I would have on a similar weekend in the past. I made a pot of Shells and cheese but ate it for 2 different meals, when in the past I would have split the pot into two bowl fulls, first and seconds at the same meal. I'm learning I don't need nearly as much of anything to survive and be full even with the really tasty bad stuff!

Another thing that is changing is how my t-shirts fit. I don't have to stretch them out with my arms before I pull them over my head to have a nice relaxed fit that doesn't show of my muffin top, which is also shrinking. That is really nice.

There you have it. My weekly weigh-in!
I'll probably post another post this afternoon on something else that occurred to me this weekend!

Love Always,
Chels

P.S. How about them Bulldawgs!?!? They played a great game Saturday night!!
It's always a great day to be a bulldawg!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

One Month Update

So its officially been a month since I started my weight loss journey. I'm not as far along as I thought I'd be but thats ok because I am closer to my goal and closer to the better version of me.
So I'm 6.6 Lbs Lighter than September 10th which is great! I'm on new meds that should help with the insulin resistance I'm experiencing as a side effect of of my PCOS.

Today was a stinky day... I mean it was just one of those days when I just couldn't get ahead of the curve, and I and for some reason super exhausted all of a sudden... but that may just be from the hour of bus driving I did this afternoon. Also... to add insult to injury, every time I got frustrated with my day the image of my dear friend Jerms living it up at the beach on his family vacation this week... Not the image to help me cope with my day.. haha

One up side to the day though was during my down time over on the campus of MSU I ran into a long lost cousin of mine and had a great and encouraging conversation. This is the first conversation that we actually had because we always miss each other at family events, someone is in africa or something. and the thing is we really have walked similar paths at State its just I did it like a year ahead of him.. weird right.. But back to my story. God just really encouraged me today through this conversation.. isn't God cool like that?!

there you go. a one month update for all of you lovely readers.
Have a great rest of the week!
Chels

** update on the update. I just realized I have a kidney infection. The general not feeling good today and the nausea the past few days were early signs I just didn't pick up on until that old familiar back pain came and went twice tonight while I was watching Modern Family and CSI at work... then it just all came together. Upside: I learned a new word from the WebMD article. It is Malaise. It means that general feeling of not feeling well and usually precedes the occurrence of an infection of some kind.**

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

30 before 30: the list

Here it is! My Super exciting post!

This is a list of 30 things I would like to do by the time I turn 30, which is a good 5 1/2 years away. Some are kind of lofty and several might be quite costly but its now or never right?! I'll update you when one of these have been completed and also as I am completing a few.
 I may need your help to complete some of these because they won't be any fun doing it by myself!
 This is super exciting to me. I just want to get started! 


1. Cook through a cookbook
2. Visit every continent (sans anartica)
Europe Asia North America South America Africa Australia
3. Swim in the Atlantic and Pacific oceans
4. Go on a cross country road trip
5. So to a Saints game at the Superdome


6. Own my own home
7. Buy a new car
8. Get married
9. Become a parent
10. Be at my goal weight - only 101.4 lbs to go!
11. Donate to locks of love
12. Share a meal with Tim Tebow


13. Adopt a Child
14. Recover a couch
15. Go parasailing
16. Ride in a hot air balloon
17. Stay in a hostel
18. Get a really good camera and learn to take really great photos with it
19. Do a tasting in napa valley
20. Work at a summer camp


21. Meet Esther, my compassion child
22. Compete in a adventure run like warrior or diva dash
23. Go backstage at a concert
24. Get a tattoo
25. Give up ALL soda for a whole year this is going to be the hardest one to complete 

26. Do 100 consecutive push ups (in my wedding dress would be really cool but lets not get ahead of ourselves)
27. Spend a day sailing
28. Go deep sea fishing
29. Exercise every day for 50 days in a row
30. Own a pair of Louboutins.- aren't they beautiful?!
**All images in the list were found using google images**

So there it is! My list. I could explain a story for each of these but that would make for an excruciatingly long post! Maybe I'll share my motives as I complete them!
I can't wait to get started!

-Chelsea- Lou

Weigh In Week 4

Good Morning!!
I'm happy to say that I'm back on track from before the yucky cheat weeks! Yay!
And whats more beautiful, I am starting to feel better, I don't hate getting out of the bed and I actually don't mind taking the stairs. Score and Score!
Here are my stats this week:

Weight Loss this week: 2.1 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 6.6 lbs
Total Loss To-Go: 101.4 lbs

See.. I'm back on track! Yay!
I found this encouraging pin the other day and its really stuck in my head.


 I hope it encourages you in your weight loss journey as much as it has me!


Have a Happy Week! 
Chels

p.s. I am working on a really exciting post that will be up sometime this week! I can't wait to share it with you!

Monday, October 8, 2012

1,000th Pin!

So I take pride in my pinterest.. I check every link out and read through most things I repin to make sure that its a legit site behind it. Well today was my 1,000th pin and to me it was a big deal, so I searched high and low in 4 different categories to find a good one but nothing seemed appropriate for the occasion.. so I decided to go humorous with this milestone and I'm so glad I did. I can quit laughing at this and I can just hear my dad laughing at these all the way down in Louisiana!
Enjoy! and follow me on Pinterest if you don't already!

You may have to zoom in to be able to read them all.. its just too funny!!
oh puppies! you gotta love 'em! - Chels

Its been a Great Weekend!

Hey Readers!

As the title states it was a great weekend filled with some fantastic friends from my past, shopping and super yummy food! Yes I went off plan this weekend but only on a couple of things did I really go over board, like that banana pudding concrete from Bops, the China Wok take out for dinner and a Chicken-on-a-stick from that gas station in Raleigh... they were all delicious and I believe worthy splurges. 

I didn't weigh-in today because I didn't stay at the dorm last night and I had to eat breakfast and drink 8oz of water this morning to take my meds I missed last night (oops). So I will weigh in in the morning and let you know first thing! 

I just finished this Quiet Workout I found on pinterest. Its originally from a fitness blog I have been following lately called Back on Pointe. Its definitely quiet but I can't do some of those moves... the :45 plank went down in :15 and the Jackknife crunches looked ridiculous.
 But that doesn't matter.. I did it!
 Go Me!
That means peggy gets fed today after all!
Quiet Workout from Back on Pointe
One thing that I am learning this time around is that I will never be successful on my weight loss journey if I abstain from everything delicious all the time. It has to be a life long commitment to weigh my options and go healthy when I can so later I can splurge on a cheese covered enchilada and not feel guilty. Its also reminding myself that I don't always need a side with my meal. Like that chicken-on-a-stick I mentioned earlier, when I ordered it the girl behind the counter gave me a bewildered look when I told her i didn't want any potato logs to go with it ( I wanted them but I had already made a concession for the battered and fried entree in her hand). 
One thing that I need to work on, and this will probably be a long process, is not eating after I'm full. Every meal that I ate this weekend I can remember the feeling of being full and still having food on my plate so my brain told me to keep eating. Its a learning process. Another reason this has occurred to me lately is I am trying to keep myself to a strict budget so that I can put as much into savings as possible and if I could stop eating when I first feel full I'd have a second meal from each of those that I ate too much at this weekend.

This will be my challenge to myself this week:
 To stop when I feel full and save it for later. 

Hasta la Vista!
Chelsea-lou

Monday, October 1, 2012

Weigh-in Week 3

Alright Guys..
I made a commitment to weigh-in this week even though I knew that I wouldn't like the numbers on the scale this morning.
Here are the stats:

Weight Loss this week: +1 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 4.5 lbs
Total Loss To-Go: 103.5 lbs

Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be but that means that my mani-pedi is that much farther away. :( 

But today I've gotten back on track, its just another day in which I am sticking to my commitment. 

I made a sign to help remind me to stay on track. Here it is:

If its a little busy for your eyes, it says "What you eat in private you wear in public... Think before you open this door." Its on my little fridge in my room so that I have to look at it each time I walk over to just look and see. 

This week will be better. 
I will make this week better.

Thanks for keeping me accountable!
Chelsea-Lou!!

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Yuck Yuck Yuck

Last night I was disgusted with myself. 
I had a fell-off-the-wagon-so-I'll-wallow-in-the-mud kind of day yesterday. 
I didn't eat anything until like 1pm and then I couldn't make myself stop. I even rationalized buying a party pizza from wal-mart and ordering in that chinese I've been craving for 2 weeks. Not only did I eat this bad stuff I stuffed myself on good stuff too.. a can of green beans and a can of black beans (at separate times of course). It was bad. Its the worst food day I've had since I was on steroids for my back pain in the spring and at least then I could point to a reason I was eating like a crazy person!

It hit me the hardest when I went to get the cash to pay for my take out. I needed one more dollar than I had on me so I went over to the envelope I have for the $$$ I put in Peggy for my weight loss achievements.
 I was literally stealing from myself.
Exchanging silly excuses of why I needed this food for my reward for abstaining from it. I had to figure out what was going on in my crazy brain of mine. What was the trigger, what set it off this time to the point that every-time I got up from the couch or homework I found myself scouring the fridge for something to put in my mouth. Why couldn't I stop myself?

While I was working the late shift pondering these things while making some rosettes for this fantastic blanket I've embarked on (I'll show you photos when I get it finished, Whenever that might be) I realized that I'm lonely. Not just the I'm-single-and-want-to-be-a-bride lonely, but just in general, in this dorm full of girls I never get a break from either being someone's superior or someone being mine. I've got to find some outlet of peers to meet new people. I love my little friend group but they've really become closer than family and sometimes family doesn't fulfill that social need. They just don't. : ( 

After a long text conversation with my friend J$ I felt super encouraged with a better outlook on this whole thing and a game plan to do some more socializing and not just being around tons of people. 

I just needed to be accountable to all you out there because I definitely double bagged that Pizza and put in under by bag so that the Kids on the bus couldn't see it as easily. Also I have to be accountable to myself for the damage I've done. I know that scale isn't going to show me what I want to see in the morning, but if I skip weigh in it will start a slippery slope that I've been down before. and I can't let myself go there this time. 
I can't.

So there you have it. 
Until tomorrow's ominous weigh in.
Chelsea