What are these things that have made you too ashamed to look at Jesus as he pursues you so intently?
Sex?... He died for that
Lies? ... He died for that
Abuse someone told you was your fault? ... He died for that
Porn? ... He died for that
Kill someone? ... He died for that
Another terrible awful thing? ... He died for that too
Even this disorder I've had the majority of my life that makes me have problems that no woman should have to deal with ... He died for that too.
Beloved, you are beloved.
The creator of the universe (and yes Jesus created the universe: John 1: 1-3) gave up his right to stay in perfect heaven to become human and deal with all the temptations and struggles that is part of normal human life just so that he could be tortured and humiliated before giving his life as the sacrifice for ours. He came to die for our mess... ALL OF IT!
When he comes to us to meet, visit and get to know us and we look away because we can't get over our shame its as if we are saying that our stuff wasn't covered by his sacrifice, as if his sacrifice wasn't worthy or good enough to cover OUR sin. It's good enough to cover everyone else's except my terrible awful. That is a lie and we can't fully experience the goodness of the relationship he seeks to have with us if we continue to believe it.
What do we do about this shame problem then?
We take those thoughts captive. When our shame starts creeping back in our minds we identify it then praise Jesus that he's taken care of the payment for that.
When the Holy Spirit comes to meet with us we choose to look to him and not this shameful thing we see on our clean hands. It's like a hallucination, it's not there any more but we think it is.
We stop believing that we aren't worthy of him, He decided long ago that you were worth it. That no matter what you did to yourself, others, or what had been done to you, he SEEKS YOU! He was willing to lay down his LIFE so that you might live, not just here on earth but for the rest of eternity!!
This has been a big deal for me these past few days, I've realized that I've been keeping Him at an arms length for years. Yes, I walk with him constantly but there is this shame bubble that has been keeping me from really getting to know him, allowing him to really get to know me and going to a deeper level with him .. I'm still figuring it out and asking for him to show me what I steps I need to take as he begins peeling away the layers of this bubble.
It may be painful and take a while to pull apart because its been building for over 11 years and maybe even my whole life.
The amazing thing is that he's never given up on me ... He's been right there with me as I kept turning my eyes from him and adding another layer to the shame bubble, loving me even if I can't receive it. And for that I am so thankful.
Thanks for stopping by,