God is revealing to me this morning the things he has been trying to get through my head the past week or so. He is teaching me about surviving and thriving and the difference between the two ... and that sometimes (most times) we ask for help to survive when we really want help to thrive.
Here are the definitions of the two words.
1. To remain alive or in existence.
2. To carry on despite hardships or trauma; persevere
3. To remain functional or usable
1. To make steady progress; prosper.
2. To grow vigorously; flourish
I am a person that is very used to thriving. I do very well at most things I attempt (other than spelling). I thrive and have thrived in most of the settings of my life... but then this week came along and I was miserable...My back went out, my phone was broken, my only source of contact with my support system was facebook and with the time difference I kept missing the people I wanted to talk to the most.
I began to pray to God to give me the things I"needed" to "survive" ... and he gave them to me... a phone that stayed broken, an understanding supervisor and his wonderful wife, pain meds, some amazingly encouraging conversations with my dearest girl friends and lots of time to cry and be by myself before Him... and I did just that... Survived.
But I didn't feel like I was surviving... I felt like I was going crazy and dying on the inside because I am so used to THRIVING that i think my SURVIVING is me actually THRIVING.
It wasn't until this morning after 5 days of praying for strength and healing to survive that what I really needed to be praying was for the strength and healing to thrive!
God is teaching me that sometimes as a child of his he sometimes needs us to be only in survival mode so that other children of his own can thrive, so that his love will be shared with exactly who it needs to be shared with. He needs us to be broken down with no clue what to do next to make things better for ourselves so that he can grow us in a new way that we never even imagined.
Although this week has been the most miserable physically that i can remember (simply because there was so much i wanted to do but couldn't) It will always rest well in my mind the week that God taught me exactly what i NEED to Survive!