This week has been one that has changed how I view myself forever and I want to share this story with you.
It has to do with FEARS. We all have them. Those little things we just can't let ourselves do because we would just die! But this story is about how God is helping me over come those little fears in a mighty way!
I realized that I still had many of these little fears that were holding me back from doing some things that I really wanted to do. Things like meet with my pastor's wife, call a supporter or even eat something that wasn't made with flour, all just required me to walk up to someone I know relatively well and open my mouth to speak. But I couldn't. I couldn't find the courage in me to do this simple thing.
I am a girl who has traveled to India by herself, really wants a second tattoo, lived in Africa for 2 months with a bunch of other girls and thinks a 7 hour drive alone is a "Short trip" and I was afraid of asking the girls staffing the kitchen if the soup had flour in it?
"Who Am I?" I thought and then proceeded to go get my rice mac out of the freezer with my head hung in shame.
During our afternoon break I began writing down all the things I was afraid of and as I prayed about it later with God, he asked me if any of these things that I was so terrified of had ever actually happened. I realized just then as I went down the list that none of them had ever actually taken place. Stunned and confused I sat there asking God "Well how do I stop feeling afraid if these aren't even actual fears that have any substance?"
then... a beautiful blonde friend from PA gave me this next verse as I was talking with her after an amazing worship session where we sang about God's love for 2 hours with our new church family.
"There is NO FEAR in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love" 1 John 4:18
As I read this verse it just hit me... I am choosing to fear and it is hindering me more than I realize. So I decided to choose not to fear, and everytime that I felt fear or anxiety about a situation or action I should take that I MUST just do it. No matter how much I think I fear, If I walk in the opposite spirit, meaning I do what I do not want to do, then I realize that that was in fact a false fear. It was like an operation where he cut me open and took out my Fear Bone. I don't have the "abilty" to fear anymore because He's removed it!
Pray for me. This is going to open some big doors that I always thought were locked but God was just waiting for me to try the handle and see!
Unti Next Time!